An Autopsy

[frozenimage]

Well, lets see here, i have been on this site for a few years now. For quite a while i have been quiet. So it is, that i have decided to break that silence once again. I have been through a few profiles, a numerous amount. I find many a person seeking uniquness in form of types of dementia. Something new to me, why people would seek out the insane, the problem is people usually don't know, i couldn't ever be the judge of my own mental status untile i was diagnosed by doctors as having a few types of pyschosis, one of them potentially dangerous to others. I acclaim the insane man, he is usually a dedicated person, committing whole heartedly to what ever he believes is his personal function and will pursue the profection of this lament. I have had a seprate story myself, what i did and what i am plagued with is self caused, i am a disector of the mind, i enjoy taking it apart and seeing what makes them tick, my own was my first ruthless experimentation. Now it has become my worst test subject i have ever had. cutting and splicing the mind is a deadly process that opens doors to seprate realities and allows things that are not supposed to be factors into this world, and they are without a doubt potentially destructive elements with a probability of perhapes mass desolution. Many people are intrested in indulgences and finding out how people can feel happy or satisfaction, since i was a small child i hated that, i hated how everyone wanted the same thing, personal satisfaction...so i chose to deprive myself of things i wanted, i decided to starve myself causing mental missfunctions. gradually this progressed into the development of extreeme violent urges to dangerous lvls of which now im damned permenently to manage so people around me do not get hurt, and so that i don't end up restrained for the better part whats left of my short life here. i wanted to perfect myself with depraveity, not because it "satisfied me" but because it was the purpose of the wrath i have been controlled by that seems to be disgusted with every last thing humans do. Eventually this lead me into a sub reality known only as the Labrynth, the torment complex. A seemingly semi realm that connects the nightmares of the mind to the other minds, doors from people to people, these doors are always shut and even then my dear reader u would not posess the means to open it, it allows minor flows of negative energy, (evil) to infest u from time to time, it is literally so to speak the abilical cord of Hell itself. I was unfortanatly able to open the connection fully, i hadn't thought ahead at what lay behind, and once it's open it will never close. i live with what i let loose every god forsaken day of my life here on out, constantly nearly deprived entirely of sleep for whole seasons and years. being afraid of sleep, the screaming that echoes from out drains that i am by, the face in the mirror that isn't mine, the tar that sometimes poors from my eyes. It never stops it doesn't know how to stop, it can't even comprehend stoping, not untile it kills me, not untile there is no one left to kill does it stop. the only safety is running, and diversions/distractions. It wants everyone, and once it has it's eye on you, Hell will have nothing but you, you become it's ultamate goal, it's host to reproduce in. So it is with no shred of self respect i ask, am i insane? Can i truely claim that? The answer is no, i cannot, because i have never even got a chance to fathom reality or true reason. I never will know what perspective to compare to or what is considered normalicy. Because i no longer have the humanity or concious moral to tell me where i am, we are all lost here, and we are hungry, we are starved and only are blood tells us what we must eat, i suppose we wait for u all. You shouldn't ever want to come down here, it's thowing your own freedom in the trash, it's slavery and submission to Abaddon, we are like it, vast as a desert, Void and empty

-The Surgeon

[anubistutankh (deleted)]

Whale wondering through the shadow of my own mind I find myself reading the words of a man that I do not know and yet feel a strong connection to. We are one in the same him and I. Both victims of our own minds, but separated from the same path at a certain crossroad. Long has my mind tortured me as I deny the desires of my heart, eating away at the very core of my sanity. But my path is found down a different road then yours brave traveler, for I instead lock myself in solitude and isolation. Waiting for death to be my freedom I feel your sorrow though it comes from a different pain and I find that we can not be insane for who among the normal people of this age can say that they truly try to be better then there nature. No we can not be truly insane, we can only be human.

[frozenimage]

I apperciate your veiw on my existance. However, being human requires many more backbone atributes other then just physical apearance. There is a specail coding required, to be worthy of being called human. Moral, humanity, passion, compassion, are things that govern individuals, i however lack all of these listed, nor am i governed by any of them. I only have self control for the mean time, and even that is failing. I am much too close to Abaddon now, it's very hard to see here, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel inside the void. the only thing that fuels me is wrath, thought to be a passion, but it is not when it is a senseless ambition, but rather a destructive bomb. Only hate, in my universe is strength. It is my only purpose to feed it. They say lonelyness is the greatest suffering a person can know. i have known it well, and it has been the cradle of the monster i am now, i am nothing but part of Hell.

-The Surgeon

[frozenimage]

`Across oceans of deceit, the failed promises laps as a harsh shore line apon the jagged face of broken dreams. this is a land i have known well, and where i choose to dwell in doubt. i love the dying hope, for when it leaves me i will be free of these thoughts of what could be. i endure this Hell because it is my home, i am of the sands of rejection, and now i lie in wait to swallow up all those who set foot here. my winds will cut you to shreds, and i will bury u under such pressure. i am the gains of the sands of time i control how long u will lament here, and now no one shall leave this place who come here. avoid my lands of retribution and punishment, or atone for eternity. i will starve u untile u become barren like my deserts, vast and empty. u too will become famished and devour those who lose there way untile all hope is abandoned and the heat of the sun of firey truth blisters and burns all your dreams till they become unlinving within your empty shell, i am son of Moloch prince of the land of tears. Live Forever in Shame and forsake yourself...

[thylight (deleted)]

`corpus? youre on a site entitled gothpassions lol...

[corpusconcerto (deleted)]

`sane, CORPUS. consilii particeps eram, tamen memini clare me rogare num id insidias olerat.